Why Children’s mental wellbeing is important? Or is it?

It’s tough to write-up about sexual harassment cases and even more tougher to put pen to paper if the cases involves children. 

I am not qualified or knowledgeable about what is happening with cases pertaining to alleged sexual harassment, and molestation, cases involving certain teachers in certain schools. What I can attempt however is to write about how this can be detrimental for children and their health, especially their mental health (whether they are directly involved or in the centre of these cases).

 

Let’s face it! We all encounter or have encountered trauma in life at some point in time or the other! There are some of it physical and most of it mental (trauma) too. Trauma in the form of harassment and that too sexual harassment can have long lasting impact (or rather scars) on adults; and what to speak of children! 

 

Ironically it is Children that are most subjected to harassment; be it getting beaten; or getting molested or raped by known people; or simply watching abusive parents fight in front of them. It takes a whole lot of extra something for them to function normally while carrying the memory of the horror or the shame of their utter helplessness.

 

It only takes a “tipping” point to gain courage to go after their abusers or lose hope to an utter point of despair and complete breakdown beyond redemption.

 

Now add to this the endless hours children are glued to online platforms including their classrooms or entertainment videos with various variety of content suitable or not suitable for them. The lines have already blurred between what is actually important for them versus what they feel is important to them.

 

These traces of stress, trauma and self-inflicted or other hardships have long standing impact on their being at both a psychological and physiological level. While physical scars heal over time, the trauma and having to grow with helplessness can make them less oriented towards relationships, less self-confident, more self-doubting and emotionally unstable individuals. Ofcourse its not a doomsday scenario but let’s face it -  life will not be the same for them post the event.      

 

Mental health needs equal importance and attention, if not more, than physical health. Not to say that physical health is not needed, but in my view, mental well-being precedes everything else by miles! Health issues caused by anxiety or something as long lasting as trauma cause physiological changes that are irreversible. There is enough and more research data to show that this the case.

 

 

Can we not make mental issues and trauma caused by the same a matter that matters?

 

In the first place, we as a society need to “be aware” of what’ s going on around us and yet at the same time not make the grave mistake of judging people or brushing aside the impact these events have on the mental health of the victims. If the educated lot take a few affirmative steps and behave well we can make an attempt to get the country to change. Turning a blind eye to what’s going was and should never be an option. 

 

Here a special mention to educators and educational institutions: If you are not aware of mental issues children in your schools are going through, create mechanisms and procedures to make yourselves aware. If you are aware and you don’t take action you become part of the problem. If you are not aware and don’t want to even hear about the same you are the problem. Nip unwanted things in the bud so that your saplings and plants can go on become trees with deep roots.

 

To parents let children seek help. Be aware of what’s going on with your kids. Sometimes in your business of parenting you may forget to notice that you may be one of the causes of their long list of problems. As much as how conditioning children with a whack or two used to work 3 decades ago, the same may not work today. The definition of conditioning has changed globally and here too: it’s time for you to adapt and move on. 

 

Can we do something about this? 

 

Individually and collectively Yes. We can. As individuals the least we can do or show is “empathy”. In a fast paced (social media driven) world lets show we care for the other individual - be it our own children or the people around us! If its children or even young adults, as a Society we have impending duty to bring these individuals up as great future citizens of this country. The only way to do this is be empathetic and show empathy towards other peoples’ problem, even if it’s your own children follow the same empathy. Nothing is lost. 

 

Should we give people space to come out of their experiences? 

 

Absolutely. While we all keep debating about these (in houses and in TV channels), there are things that we as individuals and us as a society should improve in the way we handle such people, especially children who are impacted! Be it giving care, love or affection, or be it lending our ears to what they have to say to getting them full medical attention, all attempts are to be made. 

 

Schools and colleges are the medium in society that have to champion this cause of children. Schools with a broader spectrum including parents need to ensure that psychological wellbeing of every child is protected as a fundamental right. Compulsorily create that “safe space” in schools and colleges (to start with) and/or otherwise where children feel comfortable to talk about what they are feeling helpless about or vulnerable about. This is a space where children should feel that they will not be punished for their vulnerabilities nor will they be badly publicised for their helplessness. This safe space should not be lost in any School to a mere tick mark exercise of having just a Counsellor for the record!

 

Many a time just merely talking to impacted children can do wonders to their lives.

Ravishankar Gopalan

Author is a Parent and Banker